I know I've left you hanging on the vacation thing. There's too much emotional crap to add in between all of it and I'm just not ready to open myself up to thinking about it. Let alone write about it for all to read.
I do have a question though.
What makes a family?
Does it have to be a mommy and daddy? Does it include children? Are pets involved?
Why is it I feel such a strong desire to be in a kinship with someone, and yet that person doesn't even consider me part of the family. At least that person's idea of family. Why are there rules? Why do I have to be blood related in order to be thought of as family?
I won't mention names. I won't complain much longer. I just want to point out that people get hurt feelings if they feel out of the circle. People hurt when they aren't included. People hurt when they know they will never be a part of someone's life in the way they want to be.
I know my answers and I know the answer I get. And it isn't fair. It just plain sucks...
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I'm not sure what this post has to do with hating football, but it sounds like this is an issue that you're really struggling with. I'm sorry there are people who won't let you in. That is such a painful feeling. The thing I've found myself doing in order to combat the potential pain of such disappointment? Tell myself I don't want to be "in," anyway. I have lived in this town for over two years, and to this day, the only person I have done fun, friend-y, hang-y out-y stuff with besides my husband is his mother. I can safely say she is my only friend up here, and I know it's my fault that I have just the one. I could easily make more, but I don't want to run the risk of having my friendships poop on my head like they have in the past.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's too cynical an outlook for you (for most people, I sound crazy and bitter), but it's worked for me.
Good luck with everything!