We've been talking about hugging lately in my church community group. We've got people that hug everyone whether they like it or not, the indifferent ones that don't think about it they just embrace because of social acceptance, the others (the non huggers) that cannot stand the thought of someone touching them, and the last most important is the healthy hug.
I'd like to think I am in all four of these categories of huggers, even though I don't like them all.
1. Category One of hugging people whether they like it or not is so easy for me. Although I try very hard not to do it, sometimes I just have this incredible feeling of love towards people I just want to hug the begeebers out of them. It's an expression for sure, and definitely not for everyone. I only feel that way about certain people, they are usually the ones closest to me in relationships. They have taken the time to get to know me. It really feels like I fall in love with them. Not in a spousal way but in an endearing mutual respect kind of way. I look at them and I am in awe about how wonderful this person is. How much they care about me. And that's when people say, "Barf, cut the mush." So I move on.
2. Category Two involving social acceptance irks me. There is mostly no feeling to it. If you aren't really good friends with someone, that situation is so awkward! I really hate it when two other people hug, and now that makes me HAVE to hug someone I really don't want to. Social protocol: annoying and mindless if you ask me.
3. Category Three I relate to, and yet I don't understand equally. There are certain people I do not want to hug me. Rapists, terrorists, and Russell Brand are just a few. (Don't think RB is in the same class as the other two, I just really would not wish to hug him.) On the other hand, if someone wants to hug me I would not reject them because of their willingness to open themselves up to me. I would simply be accepting of it because I would not want the rejection if I were them. It makes it difficult at times because I do NOT want many people to hug me. I DO want my select people to hug me, all the time. Free hugs for them, and I'll give some to the others because I'm nice.
4. Category Four (as you may have guessed) is my favorite. The healthy hug defined by me is a hug of mutual acceptance. It is cherished because of its' unique quality to benefit both parties. And it doesn't have to be the same reason for being beneficial. Just like the hug Professor Maguire gives Will in Good Will Hunting. A well of emotion comes forth equally by both parties, for completely different reasons. Best scene of the movie by far.
Although I'm sure I could come up with more examples of why people hug, it makes me think about me as a person. Why do I have a need to hug someone? Why would someone not want to hug me? Why is hugging so important?
I think I need a hug.
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